Still Going

I know its been a while since I did a new blog. I'm still on my journey and doing good. I have made a few new life decisions along the way. First I made the decision to go back to college. Although I will be going on line I feel this is the right move to make. Have to better myself so that my boys are taken care of. Everything I do, I do with them in mind. Although they are getting older, they are my first priority above anything else. Second decision I made was to start volunteering at my local library two days a week for right now in the mornings. I'm still going to be doing my walks, going to the gym, and Zumba. Just trying to stay busy and focused on me for a change. You see, I think about everyone else before myself. I'm getting better focusing on me but I'm still a work in progress. 

  I still have my times when I'm down but I haven't went back to my unhealthy ways. When I start to think about it, I go eat a piece of fruit or go on my walks. You see walking gives me time to think and reflect and I'm glad that I decided to move this body of mine. 

Today I was feeling bad because my oldest wanted to go out. Well things financially haven't been great but I have been making sure they have all the need. Life being a single mom is hard, but I wouldn't change a thing. But I feel that both of their fathers need to step up to the plate and help take care of their boys. But regardless, they have me and I'm going to make sure they have. When they get grown and ion their own , they are going to remember that I was there for them. With that being said, I got this. Yes I'm stronger now than I was a few years ago. I have Him to thank.

I'm still going to be me and do me! Wish me luck as  I start school on Monday! I'm determined to succeed in all of my endeavors.

Taking Care of Yourself

As many of you many know, I had outpatient surgery done on Thursday. I have to tell you that I was so nervous up to that day. While I was in my room waiting to get prepped for surgery, something told me to pick up the Bible there. I read the 23rd Psalms which was my stepdad Henry favorite and the 27th Psalms the first verse. That passage stuck with me the whole time. I went back and was reading that verse over and over again. I knew then that I had nothing to worry about because of my faith in Him.

After my surgery was done and Dr. Vaughn and the nurse woke me up, I had been in recovery for thirty minutes. I didn't realize that I had a breathing complication until the nurse to,d me and she removed the breathing tube from my nose. My throat was so sore that I had tears running out of my eyes. I knew then that He was with me through it all!! I know now that He has a plan for me and he never left my side. As soon as I recover and get released from doctor care, I'm going to go back to my exercise and my Zumba. I feel bad because I can't do these things right now but taking care of myself must come first. I over did it yesterday and today I'm paying for it because I did my normal routine of housework and taking care of my boys. Today they are taking care of me. I really appreciate them both because I know they were worried about me. This is one of the times being a single parent is tough because I'm supposed to be taking care of them and they are taking care of me. I thank God for bringing me through so that I could continue to care for my boys. Chris and Marcus I love you very much.

Another Accomplishment

Yesterday I went to have my pre op appointments for my surgery which is next Thursday. I am proud to announce that I have lost eight more pounds bringing my total up to seventy pounds lost since I started this weight loss journey in January. I am so proud of myself! I know now that I can do it! I have the determination, so I know I can do it!
 It feels good to put on my clothes now and they are loose. I can do so much more know than before. I feel good knowing that I'm sticking to this journey. I have had a lot of ups and downs while on this journey, but I have not slid back into unhealthy eating habits. It also feels good to see people that I know saying that they are proud of me. Most importantly, I'm proud that I'm doing this without help. I credit my faith in God for giving me the strength to continue on this journey. I know that I didn't gain the weight all in one time so I know it will take time and work to lose it. I know I'm up to the challenge.
 I have had several people tell me that I'm an inspiration to them. When I started out, it was to work on myself physically and emotionally. Because all through my life, I have suffered from self esteem issues. I felt like I couldn't have a good relationship because of my weight. In school, I had very few friends because I felt it was because of my weight. I used to get teased all the time. In high school, I wasn't popular at all. If  girls talked to me at all it was to try and get me to convince my brother to go out with them because he was popular. For a time, school was so bad that I quit going for a time the end of my junior/senior year. I had some good people come into my life and encouraged me not to give up. One was my high school counselor Ms. Kelsaw and the woman I call my second mom Mary Lou! These ladies was there for me and encourage me to be the best I can be. I also want to thank Mr. Hoffman. Even though I didn't have a class with him, he guided me as well.  They wasn't afraid to tell me truth whether I wanted to hear it or not.
  For anyone that is struggling with your weight, please don't give up! Take it one day at a time. If you fall, just pick yourself back up because you have another day to get it right. I eat healthy everyday but I occasionally have a cheat day. But even then I watch my calorie intake. My best advice is to drink plenty of water! That is all I drink now! Last but not least, Henry I know you are smiling down on me and so proud of  me!

Accomplishment

In 11 days I will be celebrating my 42nd birthday. I am proud of all that I have accomplished in these nine months since I first started my weight loss journey in January. I am 62 pounds lighter and working hard on losing more. It is hard work  but I see the difference in my appearance. I love how now when I out on my clothes, they are loose. I like when I'm walking, I see people and they stop to tell me how proud they are and to continue the good work. I'm proud of how I've stuck with even when life has gotten in the way.
  I just want to say it has been three months since I started walking everyday. I joined the gym two months ago. It's also been two months since I started doing Zumba. I enjoy doing all the exercises not. I can't believe it's me saying it when I didn't like it at all. But I had reached my point when I would wake up in the mornings wheezing because of my asthma. My knees and legs hurting because of my arthritis.  Losing weight has also been good for my self esteem as I'm presently working on loving myself.  I have learned that you have to love yourself first. When I gain all of my confidence back, watch out world because I'm going to take it by storm.
 It also feel good when your kids are proud of you and all the hard work that you have put in. Chris and Marcus push me and motivate me everyday to be the best I can be. Plus they support and encourage me to keep pushing on. I just want to say, for anyone that is struggling with weight, just take it one day at a time. You didn't gain it all at one time, so it's going to take time to shed it.  If you fall off, just get back up and try again! When I get to where I want to be weight wise, I will still continue because I don't want to slip back into my unhealthy habit.

One Month of Gym and Zumba

With everything that has been going on lately, I forgot to write that yesterday marked one month since I started going to the gym and doing Zumba! I'm so glad that I added both of these exercises to my weight loss journey. Since doing my daily walk, gym and Zumba I am seeing the results of my hard work. My clothes are getting loose. Monday I was doing Zumba, I kept having to pull my clothes up because they was falling down!! I'm trying to hold off on buying new clothes until I reach the weight that I'm most comfortable with. With every pound lost, I'm learning to love myself more. Believe me when I said getting to this point has been hard. I have learned that doing my exercise sessions and my walking, that I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I needed to learn to love myself first. If I can't love myself, then how can I expect for love to find me?
  Going on this weight loss journey has opened my eyes to a lot of changes that are going on within myself. I'm hoping by my birthday next month, that I will have lost more weight. I know turning 42 is going to be fabulous!! I just wanted to let everyone know how much I appreciate all the support and kind words as I have been going through my journey. It means a lot to me. More that you all will ever know. I know I can accomplish this journey.
   I just wanted to ask you all to say a prayer for me also. Next month the day after my birthday I have to have surgery. When I went to the gynecologist on the 1st, she found a Cyst near my cervix. Since I got this news, I have been very worried. This is my first time for having any type of surgery and to say that I'm nervous is an understatement. I'm praying everyday and keeping the faith. I haven't slipped back into my unhealthy eating habits even though I was tempted. So that in itself is another accomplishment for me. I'm just going to keep on walking, exercising, and Zumba!! Happy Anniversary to me!!
 

Two Months of Walking

Saturday marked two months since I started walking the weight off. Marcus and I walk everyday weather permitting!! I love walking. I never thought I would be saying that but it's true. I have a good days and bad days when I walk because of my knees but I push through and get it done. I just have to thank my friend Jackie for starting me on my walking journey because had it not been for her coming down on that one Saturday walking with me, I still would have put it off. Now I can't wait to walk everyday. I normally go in the evenings since it's cooler. Someday I have went on my walks twice in one day. Walking has helped me physically and mentally. It has also helped me bond more with my youngest Marcus. We have little talks where I have learned so much about how he feels about certain things. Today we was talking about how cute he was as a baby and he tell me now I'm fat and ugly. I said no Marcus you are a handsome young man and I love you very much. I also tell him that we are walking our weight off and you will get there. It takes time. Look at me I tells him and look at what I accomplished with you walking with me and your oldest brother motivating me. It hurt me when he told me that he was fat and ugly because for so long in my life especially since becoming an adult that I felt exactly like he does now. By me being on this journey, I am learning to love myself and hopefully he will too. I can only imagine what he went through at school with others in his class teasing him. I went through the same. It took time but now I'm stronger for it. Doing this blog and posting on FaceBook is keeping me focused plus I'm finding out things about myself that I hadn't looked to examine in my life before now. Just one example of this is that I always used to think that the reason I couldn't keep and stay in a relationship with a man was because of my weight. Now I have learned that I wasn't what they needed in their life. I now know that I'm worthy of so much more than the cheating and being used. Hopefully as my boys get older, they will know how to treat a lady.
   I'm going to end this blog by saying that I know that my hero my stepdad Henry is smiling down knowing that I am losing weight. I know he's proud of me and I can feel his presence around me. I'm proud of myself.

First Weight Loss Goal Accomplished

I went to the doctor on yesterday 8/1. I was nervous and a little worried about getting my annual female checkup.  I was at my appointment early and within ten minutes I was being seen. I was nervous when I got on the scale. When I saw how much more weight I had lost, I was so excited!! So glad I made my choice at the beginning of the year to get healthy. I have lost 26 more pounds bringing my total weight loss to 62 lbs. I have accomplished my first goal that I set for myself. I wanted to lose 50 lbs by my birthday in September. I did that plus lost more!! I am so proud of myself for doing this.  For me sticking to my journey is an accomplishment also. I have had a few storms come in recently but I didn't slip back into eating unhealthy. That is also an accomplishment for me. Now I'm read to continue on to my next goal of losing 50 lbs by January. I know I can do it and I will succeed!! My sons Chris and Marcus have been supporting me every step of the way! I know they are proud of their momma!!  I'm on this journey for me as well as them!! As my cousin told me tonight Stella is getting her groove back!!  Yes I am buy getting healthy and maintaining the loss. Turning 42 is going to be my new 22! Now only if the boys were grown lol! I'm holding off on buying new things until I reach the goal that I'm happy with!! Thank you all for supporting me!! It means a lot!!