Today marks a year that I started walking to be healthy. On this journey I have discovered his much I love doing it. But also by walking, you have a chance just to think about life in general. I know that I am blessed because I have been through so much in my life to get to where I am today. It has not been easy and life isn't by a long shot.
Today I was called bitter. Maybe I am in a sense because here I am always being the kind person that I am, I tend to be taken advantage of. To some degree, I have been used up to where once I have been used, I don't matter anymore. I have discovered that the hard way. I always felt like I'm on the outside looking in even in my own family. I also feel like I'm the black sheep of it as well. I know that I'm not perfect by no means, but to always feel like you're such a disappointment because you have less than others is heartbreaking. Especially when you feel like you're being compared to your siblings and what they have and what they can do. Especially when you feel like no matter what you do or what you have done is never enough. You know I may smile on the outside but the inside is another story. I may not have a lot of money or material things, but I do have a kind heart and soul. No matter what, I am a person that matters.
So yes, maybe I am bitter. I'm tired of being used, unloved, and taking advantage of. Yes, maybe I'm bitter because I tired of being treated like dirt. But as I go about the rest of my day, I will be celebrating my one year walking by walking. It helps clears my soul and thoughts.
