Two Weeks At the Gym

This past Friday marked two weeks since I joined the gym. I am loving it so far. I also go to the Zumba class that is offered two days a week on Mondays and Wednesdays. I am enjoying that as well! Finding myself getting used to going to both as a part of my losing weight and getting fit. I look forward to going to both activities in addition to my walks everyday. I'm trying not to let the exercise bike  get the best of me. As of Friday I did 4 miles in 18 minutes.  To me and my body shape that is an accomplishment. Trying so hard to shed these pounds so I can get back into the work force. I know I didn't gain it all at once, so I know losing it is going to take time. I feel like I'm letting my kids down because I'm not financially stable. Like last week I had to tell them that I couldn't afford to go school shopping for them this year because of bills having to be paid. I haven't turned to food to comfort me while I'm going through this little bump in the road. Instead I go walking and exercise to keep my mind occupied.  I know He is to make a way so I try not to worry and stress about things. Everyday is a struggle and I'm taking it step by step day by day. Just know that I'm not giving up! I am going to shed these pounds and make a better life for me and my boys. I have to thank my oldest son Chris because he makes sure I go to the gym everyday. Marcus is my walking partner and he makes sure that I walk everyday. He may not go all the time but he goes every time I go. I just want to again thank my supporters and my friends and family. Just knowing that you all are in my corner makes me smile. I have been told by so many that I have inspired them. I'm glad that my journey is helping. This coming from me a person that was teased constantly through school. Talked about and put down so many times. But I'm still standing. Keeping my eyes on the prize and that is to better my health. Like I told my boys, turning 42 in September is going to be my new 22!

Compliments and Inspiration

It makes my heart feel glad when I go on my walks and I see people. They either wave or stop to tell me what a good job that I'm doing. When I started on this weight loss journey, it was to get healthier so that my overall health could improve. Also to be around to watch my two boys grow up. I started this blog to help me keep focused and motivated.
   Today I was having a rough day. I was sore from Zumba and from my exercise and walk yesterday. Marcus and I walked to the library and to the store. While I was in the store, I had two people to come up to me and tell me how proud they was. This definitely brighten my day!! Even through my posts on Facebook and here on my blog, I have people telling me how proud they are of me!! But you know what makes me happy when my boys tell me how proud of me they are. That is the greatest feeling in the world!! Yesterday I was dragging my feet about going to the gym because I was sore from the bike on Monday. My oldest Chris said mom I know you're going to the gym. I said yes I am!! I thank him yesterday for motivating me because for a moment I was thinking about quitting. But then I said no I'm not!! Because I got my eyes on the prize and that is my overall health.  In time, the gym is going to be my friend. I thought I wasn't doing enough, but I was close to overdoing it.  So my lesson was to take my time and I will get the results I'm striving for!! I didn't gain the weight all at one time, so losing the weight is going to take time.  I really enjoyed Zumba and the gym!! I'm going to find the balance between my walking, Zumba, and the gym. I like how I'm losing my weight the natural way. Before at various times,I tried all kinds of diets. I would lose the weight but gain it back plus more! I'm determined to lose it and keep it off!! I know I'm doing at good job because my doctor sent me my labs results and on the results she wrote keep up the awesome job!! That really made me smile!! I just want to tell all my friends and supporters thanks for believing in me!! I now know that I can achieve my goals. If my blog is helping or inspiring someone then that makes me happy too! One day when I reach my goal, I believe I'm going to go back through all these post and maybe write a book. #TeamWalkingTheWeightOff is my slogan.

Have You Ever Felt Like You're On The Outside Looking In

The reason I chose this title is because today that's the way I'm feeling. I'm writing this down so that I don't go back to my unhealthy ways. I have been feeling this way my whole life. Like where do I fit in or am I just destined to feel this way? I know that I'm always smiling but some days I feel down and I try not to let it show.  I feel great that I'm finally doing something for me to better my health. For so long I have always put others before myself. Time and time again I have done this. But I always move on because I know I'm going to be blessed. What hurts me to my heart is when that one person whether family or friend treats you like you are nothing and just straight out looks down on you. This has happened to me and to my regret I feel that my youngest is suffering because of it.  Today he got called out of his name. That hurt me to my heart because I treat this person child like mine. I don't know why this person doesn't like or just plain looks down on me and mine. There have been plenty of times that when I was working and I got off early I would wait so that they could have a way home. But now I'm not good enough to even ride in this person's car. I don't know if its because I'm not working and I'm drawing disability or what. People that know me know that I would rather be working because living month to month off one check and have to provide for two boys is hard but I'm doing it. I'm not sure if its because after one year of college I moved away to live with my aunt so that I could better myself or what. When I was living here after high school I didn't have a license and had to catch people just to get to college everyday. So my aunt offered me a chance to move and get a job. Which I took.  So I don't know what it is but I'm tired of my child suffering for it because of me. But I'm not going to let that stop me from eating healthy and losing my weight. I may be down right now struggling but trust and believe I'm going to make it. This is all about making me and mine happy. Their happiness and mine is all that matters. I have to say I admire the relationship between my mom and my aunt. They support each other and they are there for each other.  Even when they are apart they call and text each other. I have sisters and they are paired off like my mom and aunt. I'm the lone sister.  To have a relationship like that would be awesome. I guess because I'm the oldest. But in spite of this not going backwards. #TeamWalkingtheweightoff is going to be a success!!

In my Feelings

Today I went to the gym and used the stationary bike for the first time!! I was proud of myself being that  I hadn't been on any type of bike since childhood!! I also worked out on the various machines. I can see why some people like to exercise. It's like an high. I think I would have pushed myself way passed my limit if one of the staff hadn't came back and checked on me. I so wanted to keep pressing on.
   Life to me is like getting on that bike for the first time and exercising for the first time. You have your highs and lows that comes along with it. Tonight someone made me feel like I wasn't good enough. In actuality, this person has always made me feel like that. No matter how nice I am to this person, I feel like  this person just  looks down their nose at me. You know I was so tempted to go back to food to comfort my hurt feelings, but you know what I DIDN'T!! I am so proud of myself for resisting the temptation!! Tomorrow I'm going to the gym and work  that temptation out. You see I am addicted to food and everyday is a struggle just to eat for nutrition.  By the way, I did two miles on that bike!! I was determined that I wasn't going to let that bike get the best of me. It took me 15 minutes to pedal those two miles, but it's an accomplishment that I'm proud of!! Just like I'm proud of the way I have stuck to walking everyday and eating healthy. This blog is my way of expressing my feelings and my thoughts. It's helping me to cope with my changing body and my life.  I'm doing this for me and my boys. Because I know that I am all that they have. They need me around to watch them grow up, be successful, if they decide to marry or make me a grandma. I have a ways to go before all that happens lol.
   I guess what I'm trying to say is that one day I will look this person in the eye and tell them that I am good enough!! Because I am!! But right now, I'm working on my health and my body!!

One Month Down

Was just sitting here thinking that Saturday marked one month that I started walking everyday. Who would have thought that I would be doing this everyday? Certainly not me!! Lol!! Hard work is paying off and now I am starting to see what others are seeing. I have learn so much by walking everyday. My youngest son Marcus and I have grown closer. We have talks everyday and he's starting to open up about his feeling more. I am more proud of him for sticking to the walking also. I think now he is starting to see the difference in himself and he's proud!! That makes me one happy momma!!
   Life has certainly thrown me some curves over the past few years. I used to handle it by eating food. Now I'm handling it by walking everyday. I have been telling my family that I want a beach body but really I just want to be healthy. If I can accomplish that, I will be happy and proud of my self. One because I'm doing something to please me and not others like I have been trying to do my whole life.
  I will be turning 42 in September but I'm going to call it my new 22!! Hopefully I will be able to schedule me a getaway to celebrate one meeting first weight loss goal and two just celebrating being happy with all I have accomplished thus far. I know everything happens for a reason, you just have to learn to dust yourself off and move on. One day in the near future, I may enter the dating scene again. I know one thing for sure , it had really changed. Until then, working on me is my priority.
  I think I'm going to get Marcus and I a shirt made with my slogan I use everyday which is #TeamWalkingTheWeightOff.
    For anyone that's struggling with weight issues. Don't give up!! Take it one day at a time!! I even shocked my doctor with how much weight I had lost!! She was surprised because I have a moderate case of sleep Alpena. I don't use the machine which she said if I had that I would even lose more weight and get my proper amount of sleep at night which I don't get now. But since I have been walking and doing my squats, I have been getting sleepy. If you fall off the wagon, just dust yourself off and remember tomorrow is another day to try again.
   I hope that anyone that reads my blog is enjoying it. I'm open to suggestions on how to make it better. But me doing this blog is keeping me focus.

A big difference

I am just sitting here thinking about all the changes that I have made to be fit and healthy. When I started my weight loss journey, I was just striving to be healthier.  Never did I imagine that people would be inspired by what I am doing. I was in awe and it humbled me so much. This is coming from a woman that has struggled with weight issues since I was a little girl. I have never been skinny and have just been fluffy.
   I was raised not to waste food and to eat everything that is on your plate. Of course that what I did. I have to admit that I love to eat food. I remember my grandmother home cooking every night. It was simply amazing. As I got older, food became my best friend. I now realize that it was hurting me in the long run. Over the years, I have tried every diet to the point of starving myself.  I would lose a few pounds and then a life event would happen and I would gain it back plus more.
  Now I can truly see the difference in how much weight I have lost. When my son Marcus took my picture on Sunday when we reached our walking destination,  I thought nothing of it. But I looked at the pictures I had in my phone, I really could finally all my hard work is paying off. I'm eating right, walking everyday, and now I am joining the gym up the street from my house. I'm going to continue on my journey until I reach where I feel comfortable with my weight. I am finally learning to love myself and that in itself is a great feeling. I am finally doing something for me and it's making me happy.

Week five of walking

Today marks five weeks that I started walking everyday!! I am proud to say that my son Marcus and I only missed one day of not walking. That reason was because of Mother Nature. But I found another way to get my exercise in that day. We celebrated this day by walking to Family Dollar and back. We had a hill to walk back up and we did it!! I felt the burn and it was great!! I was carrying three bags so I know it was a great walk for me!! Who would have thought that I would be walking everyday to get healthy? Certainly not me!! Once I started, I just can't stop wanting to take my walks! It gives me time to reflect and also get out of the house.
    I'm so happy that I made the choice to get healthy. So that I can be around longer and so my body can feel better. I have my struggles like my knees bother me a lot but I keep pushing on!! The old Jennifer would have quit!! I'm loving the new Jennifer!! I'm the same person on the inside just changing the way I look on the outside. Learning to love me each and everyday!! Self love is so wonderful.
  I just want to thank you all for taking the time to read my blog!! This is helping me with my weight loss and to keep me focus. A friend told me that I should write a book about my journey. I'm seriously thinking about once I reach my goal where I want to be. Believing in myself has also helped me!! I'm not giving up!! I have come to far now in my journey.

Almost to my first goal

Just got back from the doctor for my checkup!! Got a good report overall.  I just wanted to announce that I have lost 11 more pounds bringing my total to 48 lbs total that I have lost!! I'm so proud of myself!! Who would have thought that is would be on the journey to lose weight? I'm not going to stop!! I'm doing this without the help of pills or surgery. Feeling good about my self is a wonderful feeling!! I know I have a ways to go but I know with time, I will succeed!! All these years of being overweight is slowly coming to an end!! I just want to thank all of my supporters. Because you all believed in me!! I believe in myself!! So to all that has been struggling with weight loss please don't give up!! I'm not giving up!! Henry I know you're in Heaven smiling down on me because I'm finally doing something for me.