Today I went to the gym and used the stationary bike for the first time!! I was proud of myself being that I hadn't been on any type of bike since childhood!! I also worked out on the various machines. I can see why some people like to exercise. It's like an high. I think I would have pushed myself way passed my limit if one of the staff hadn't came back and checked on me. I so wanted to keep pressing on.
Life to me is like getting on that bike for the first time and exercising for the first time. You have your highs and lows that comes along with it. Tonight someone made me feel like I wasn't good enough. In actuality, this person has always made me feel like that. No matter how nice I am to this person, I feel like this person just looks down their nose at me. You know I was so tempted to go back to food to comfort my hurt feelings, but you know what I DIDN'T!! I am so proud of myself for resisting the temptation!! Tomorrow I'm going to the gym and work that temptation out. You see I am addicted to food and everyday is a struggle just to eat for nutrition. By the way, I did two miles on that bike!! I was determined that I wasn't going to let that bike get the best of me. It took me 15 minutes to pedal those two miles, but it's an accomplishment that I'm proud of!! Just like I'm proud of the way I have stuck to walking everyday and eating healthy. This blog is my way of expressing my feelings and my thoughts. It's helping me to cope with my changing body and my life. I'm doing this for me and my boys. Because I know that I am all that they have. They need me around to watch them grow up, be successful, if they decide to marry or make me a grandma. I have a ways to go before all that happens lol.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that one day I will look this person in the eye and tell them that I am good enough!! Because I am!! But right now, I'm working on my health and my body!!
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