Self-esteem

Today when I was taking my daily walk, I use the time to reflect and think about things.  I have come along ways since I started my weight loss journey in January. I'm glad that I decided to work on physically so that I can be healthy.
  For a long time I can now admit, I was addicted to food. It helped me when I was sad, happy, mad, depressed or whatever emotion that was going on.  It was a cure all for all my problems. But now I know it was also bad for my health.
    I feel that the addiction came from me having low self esteem. It took me a long time to admit this to myself. I felt like that I had to fit in to have friends all through out school and when I was out in the work force too. I felt like I was beautiful enough. I felt like I had to buy my friends just to fit in. Now I know that was wrong. A TRUE FRIEND will be there regardless and they won't talk about you behind your back. I learn this lesson the hard way.
    For many that don't know, I was in a relationship that wasn't healthy for me. But at the time I thought it was love. But it wasn't but you know having low self-esteem , I thought I couldn't get a man that truly loved me. I have been in relationships that I thought was loving, but they wasn't. These men in their own way used me by saying that they loved me but in actuality, I was the other woman. But me being the kind hearted woman that I am fell in love with these men. Oh I was hurt when I found out, but I have forgiven and let go. But you know I figured out that I wasn't what they needed. I have two boys that hopefully when they grow up will know how to treat a woman.
   Now I am in a better place. I am working on me!! I am learning to love myself. If you don't love yourself, how can some else love you? I am working on my health. To date, I have lost 37 pounds!! I'm proud of what I am accomplishing!! If anyone had told me that I would be exercising, I would have said what? But walking is helping me lose the weight one pound at a time. Now if I get upset, I walk it out!! No longer do I turn to food to comfort me!!  I'm proud of all the steps that I have taken thus far!! If my blog helps one person, then I have accomplished my goal!! Now as for the relationship part, I'm waiting on God to send me the man He wants me to be with. I'm a work in progress!!